He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart; yet no one can fathom what God has done from beginning to end. Ecclesiastes 3:11 – NIV

We Live In A Fallen World

I look at my life and wonder how did God ever make something beautiful out of me? 8 years old, and I was told that my beloved great-grandparents were violently and horrifically murdered and then I was told that my precious grandfather, who was my hero, his sister, my great aunt, killed them, beat them to death with a rolling pin. How do you process that as an eight year old? My world was shattered.

Shame Is A Hidden Soul Killer

The pain, the shame, it sunk into my soul and from it rose fear, revolving anxiety that sprung out of this gaping wound in my soul, a wound that just could not heal, because I had not met my Healer, Jesus Christ. The shame was intense, my family being in the news, such a horrific thing. With the pain, shame moved into my soul and became a constant companion, bringing with it the fear of replication. Could I ever be like her, like my Great Aunt?

Inner Bitterness Is Fed By Unforgiveness

My family fell apart from the stress of the grief and horror, strife moved in and two camps arose. One who forgave my Great Aunt, one who did not. Unfortunately, I was in the unforgiveness camp, who never spoke to her or of her again; she died in prison years later. Even though, I never spoke to her or saw her again, I could not forget, because my soul was chained by unforgiveness and bound to the fear of being like her.  I was dying a little bit each day from the inner bitterness.

Anxiety Attacks Are Triggered Out Of Hidden Things

I had anxiety attacks from 8 years old until I met Jesus at 19 years old. I hid them. I found that being good, doing good was a great false front for my sick soul. So I pressed myself to be the best at everything I did and to do good works until I was utterly exhausted. When the anxiety attacks came, triggered by different things, especially rolling pins, I rode them out alone, no one knew I had them.

How Large Is The Gap Between Who You Are Inside And Outside

I was sick, weak, bitter, and ugly on the inside and on the outside the weather was sunny with a religiosity, being good and making all the right choices out of the wrong motive.  I masked all the pain and fear, with self-righteousness as my self-image, one that I buffed up daily with works. I disciplined myself determined to never be weak or sick like my great aunt and fought hard to never give into any emotional weakness. I never knew real joy, how sad is that?

False Fronts Fall In The Face Of God’s Truth

God shattered my false front and reached into my wounded soul; into the dirt, mire and chaos of my spirit, He came. He did not wait until I was presentable. He pierced the darkness of my soul with His Light, He drove out every untruth, and erased the image of my great aunt that haunted me and kept me bound to fear and He literally breathed His healing life into my soul.

I have given them Your word; and the world has despised them because they are not products of the world, in the same way that I am not a product of the corrupt world order. Do not take them out of this world; protect them from the evil one. Like Me, they are not products of the corrupt world order. Immerse them in the truth, the truth Your voice speaks. John 17:14-17

God Makes Beautiful Things Out Of Broken Souls

Jesus made something beautiful out of me, and still to this day, I am so very grateful that He did, thankful for the changes He is still making in me. He made me into a beautiful, broken vessel of His Light. I see His Image in my soul, I have His identity in my spirit, His life has made me holy-whole from the inside-out and it is so fun to glow His Glory as I serve Him. I took off the mask, I put on Christ. Today, I embrace my human weakness, because I know His strength undergirds it in ways I cannot even begin to imagine or hope for. I will never again hide my weakness or be ashamed of it, because God loves me unconditionally and He has promised to finish what He started in me and that is enough for me.

Jesus Saves, Delivers, Heals

Jesus pulled up and destroyed the roots of bitterness, grief and shame within my soul and little by little, the anxiety attacks stopped until they were no more. The symptoms of being masked in self righteousness were many, especially having a judgmental attitude towards others, these He has transformed over the years as my soul is being clothed daily in His characteristics.  The sweetest thing that He did for me was and is, the beautiful garden of JOY that He planted and has tendered, nurtured and grown in my soul. I was lost and wounded, hidden behind a false front and God saved me from out of the consequence and chaos of the sin of this fallen world.

God’s Wounded Warrior, Weak, Yet Very Strong In Him

Yes, God does make beautiful things out of broken, wounded souls. Praise Him! I am now HIS wounded warrior with His joy as my strength. This wounded warrior now has a childlike faith, I am one who knows the Presence of God, the value of His armor, and the strength that can be infused in my weakness when I come to HIM, into His Presence like a child who so desperately needs Her Father God.

DIG Deeper In The Truth, God Is The Strength Of Our Weakness

This Worship Spotlight Is “Beautiful Things” A Gungor Lyric Video. This song inspired me to tell my story of how God took a broken vessel and made it into a broken vessel of LIGHT. I am a wounded warrior for God. I know I am weak, but I also know HIS Great strength. As I stay in vital-vertical relationship with HIM, His joy is my strength. As I come to Him like a child, weakened by the things I encounter in the fight for this fallen world, He heals and strengthens my soul. He is the all of my everything. I pray this for you too. God bless you much. I hope you are enjoying our Worship Manna Spotlight in The Bridegroom’s Café. KimberlyMac