Confess It. “I am no longer shaped or defined by your grudge and your begrudging bitterness. I am shaped and defined by Who God says I am, every word He says, I am. I am free in Christ to live, laugh and love and be wholly-holy His, serving Him only. I am not the victim of a grudge, I am a person who lives past the vision of what others think that I am. I know who I am in Christ. I listen up to God first and I hear, respond and act out of Who He says I am. I am blessed, I am not begrudged” Pray It UP. KimberlyMac~Prayer Mentor
Colossians 3:12-14 Love One Another You are always and dearly loved by God! So robe yourself with virtues of God, since you have been divinely chosen to be holy. Be merciful as you endeavor to understand others, and be compassionate, showing kindness toward all. Be gentle and humble, unoffendable in your patience with others. Tolerate the weaknesses of those in the family of faith, forgiving one another in the same way you have been graciously forgiven by Jesus Christ. If you find fault with someone, release this same gift of forgiveness to them. For love is supreme and must flow through each of these virtues. Love becomes the mark of true maturity. The Passion Translation
The Wedge Of Unforgiveness
Unforgiveness hurts relationships, it drives a wedge between them that becomes a begrudging stronghold in the relationship. The begrudger can’t see past the bitterness that roots itself in their soul, so there is no compassion, kindness, or love that is real heart relating. Grudges make life miserable and create accidents waiting to happen in all relationships. A grudge sets up your life with a BE Lame posturing, a position where much devaluing takes place. An unforgiveness never stays as just that, it becomes a bitterness and if it is a hidden bitterness, one not dealt with, but one lived from the inside out, it roots itself as a grudge, it begrudges others and withholds all blessing. Grudges add no value therefore, they devalue.
Hebrews 12:14-16 Try to stay out of all quarrels, and seek to live a clean and holy life, for one who is not holy will not see the Lord. 15 Look after each other so that not one of you will fail to find God’s best blessings. Watch out that no bitterness takes root among you, for as it springs up it causes deep trouble, hurting many in their spiritual lives. Living Bible
The Lens Of A Grudge
When someone holds a grudge against you, they see through the lens of that dislike and everything in your relationship becomes tainted by it. Nothing you do will please them or make them happy. You can serve them, love them and sacrifice for them for years and that ugly root of bitterness will still raise its ugly head at such unforeseen times, and slap down everything you have done in love as if it is nothing and completely devaluing you as a person. A bitter heart is bad enough to deal with, but a grudge takes it to the next level, it is a strong hold that is not easily broken. Eventually a grudge that is not dealt with develops a fake reality, where a false narrative is set in stone in the mind of the begrudger and it plays over and over again supporting the grudge and lending to begrudging behavior that makes smooth relationship impossible and creates a lot of crooked places in your heart which isolate you from receiving and giving blessing.
Romans 12:17-21 Never hold a grudge or try to get even, but plan your life around the noblest way to benefit others. 18 Do your best to live as everybody’s friend. Beloved, don’t be obsessed with taking revenge, but leave that to God’s righteous justice. For the Scriptures say: “If you don’t take justice in your own hands, I will release justice for you,” says the Lord. And: If your enemy is hungry, buy him lunch! Win him over with kindness. For your surprising generosity will awaken his conscience, and God will reward you with favor. Never let evil defeat you, but defeat evil with good. The Passion Translation
False Narrative Dead Ends Against A Wall Of Truth
A person with a grudge against you, will bully you, speaking into your life their fake reality, a false narrative that has been set into play by an unforgiveness, turned bitter. You can’t really have a genuine association if a person is holding a grudge against you, unbeknownst to you. You are never truly accepted past the surface, it is a one-sided rapport and you know it, you feel it, yet you keep trying to get into their good graces to no avail. There is no blessing in a personal striving continually will powered. No matter how hard you try, you will still be on the outside looking in, isolated by their hidden grudge. Grudges have a bullying nature that explodes on you all at once. You think everything is fine, you come and go, serving, loving and caring, all the while brushing up against the secreted anger of a grudge. When you least expect it, the grudge explodes from its dark hidden place, into the light, of the reality of truth and your soul is bullied by the nature of its violent percussion. The explosion is angry, bitter, disrespectful and very unanticipated, not to mention, undeserved. A begrudging explosion will knock you off your feet and pain your soul, wounding it deeply. When you have been begrudged, it is a distraction, a disruption of the enemy of your soul, which can take control of your spirit with an offensive nature as it bullies your mind, trying to gain complete control of your life focus.
Galatians 2:20 “My old identity has been co-crucified with Messiah and no longer lives; for the nails of his cross crucified me with him. And now the essence of this new life is no longer mine, for the Anointed One lives his life through me—we live in union as one! My new life is empowered by the faith of the Son of God who loves me so much that he gave himself for me, and dispenses his life into mine! Scripture die to self, live to Christ. The Passion Translation
Not Bullied Anymore
The enemy is our bully, only if we let him. It is our choice, we can stop it, we have a choice. We can step toward the blessing of the freedom of life or the death curse of a grudge. The choice is obviously obedience to God’s Word, but our flesh sometimes goes its own independent way, thinking we know more than we think we know. When we have been begrudged by the grudge of another, we hope we can nurse our wounded soul back to health by ourselves. We hope in the very human condition that fails time after time. We think we can fix it and we only enslave ourselves more to being a pleaser of people, a bondage that robs us of the freedom and blessing God died to give us. We can’t fix a grudge bearer and hopefully we figure that out before we take up the offense, which is the crafty plan of our enemy. Our enemy is a grudge reproducer. If he can keep us from being heart to heart with God and each other, He knows He can also disrupt our vital-vertical relationship with God, which is the life substance of our growth in Christ.
Jeremiah 17:5-8 Cursed is the one who trusts in human strength and the abilities of mere mortals. His very heart strays from the Eternal. He is like a little shrub in the desert that never grows; he will see no good thing come his way. He will live in a desert wasteland, a barren land of salt where no one lives. But blessed is the one who trusts in Me alone; the Eternal will be his confidence. He is like a tree planted by water, sending out its roots beside the stream. It does not fear the heat or even drought. Its leaves stay green and its fruit is dependable, no matter what it faces. The choices and consequences are clear. Rely on people alone, and life will be tough and brutish. Rely on the one True God, and life will be rich and productive. The Voice
Choosing The Blessed Way
If we are begrudged by someone’s hidden grudge, which explodes into the light, we will either turn to God for help or will power through it. We will either choose to obediently forgive and look to God to heal our soul, or we will start a grudge cycle of our own, by picking up that offense that steals our joy and throws our mind into over thinking it, which kills our peace. Picking up the offense of another person’s grudge is the same as catching it’s bitter sickness and we will become a grudge bearer, which destroys our blessed life. It is the sin cycle our enemy wants to get us into, the opposite of the circle of life Jesus prescribes for our blessing. In the past I have chosen the sin cycle, but now I choose the circle of life. The reality of truth is that in the humility of dying to self, life rises and reproduces the newness of renewed life. Death to life, the circle of eternal living. We constantly are dying to self to live unto Christ. Death oh, death where is thy sting, you stingeth not when we chose not to be your victim, when we step out of your plotted sin cyce and choose life. I am no victim, I live a life of blessing. I am no longer begrudged or begrudging, I am blessed and I am a blessing.
Philippians 1:6 I pray with great faith for you, because I’m fully convinced that the One who began this glorious work in you will faithfully continue the process of maturing you and will put his finishing touches to it until the unveiling of our Lord Jesus Christ! The Passion Translation
God Will Write Your Story
God spoke this into my heart: Break the cycle of a grudge by divine intervention, by giving God total access to your life. Turn to God, hand Him the pen you were using to write your life story and let Him finish what He started. The first step is cutting the control the grudge bearer has over you by stopping the behavior of trying to please them. Pleasing a grudge bearer is not going to happen on this side of heaven unless God moves in their hearts and when He does, you will know. Be real, be loving and be compassionate in a genuine way, out of the love of God, not out of a spirit that is trying to gain their acceptance by doing things you know will please them. Stop being the victim of a grudge bully and stop being a doer who tries to fix the lack of acceptance. Be found in Christ, please Jesus first, He is your finisher, your life is in Him. As long as a grudge is held against you, there is no pleasing, there is no real relationship and you can’t fix it. Turn to God, put it in His hands and great things will come as you fix Your eyes on Him, put your expectations in His hands and raise your faith to Him, restoring your hope in Him. When you know no hope higher than self, then you know disappointment, despair and hopelessness. Know God and know He is in the midst of your life, writing your life story and know His blessing of peace and joy.
Listen Up To God First
Only God has the right to speak into your life first, guard your heart and do not give people holding a grudge against you permission to speak into your soul. You can’t change, fix or renew the heart of a grudge bearer, this is not your job, it belongs to the Holy Spirit, so hands off, your job is to believe God. Have you noticed when you know you are going to have to be with a grudge bearer that there is dread? Of course you dread it if you are in control, you dread it, because the relationship is all fake smiles, fake actions, fake, fake and more fake. You can see it in their eyes and feel it in their attitudes, they wear their grudge on their sleeve, yet they have no clue. When you begin recognizing God’s Sovereign Presence first, by putting your expectations in God, this all changes. It is no longer up to you to get into their “good graces” it is God’s Work and He will finish it. At this point in your soul healing, dread is dead, it can’t function when God is at work, hope crowds it out. This is when you realize that you may be begrudged but God’s blessing trumps it. Begrudged and blessed, your joy is renewed and you are strengthened.
Psalm 46:10-11 Surrender your anxiety! Be silent and stop your striving and you will see that I am God. I am the God above all the nations, and I will be exalted throughout the whole earth. Here he stands! The Commander! The mighty Lord of Angel Armies is on our side! The God of Jacob fights for us! Pause in His presence. The Passion Translation
Let Be ~ Be Still
When you try and try to no avail, it is frustrating and hard and makes the relating with a grudge holder so uncomfortable. You will never breach a heart with a grudge guard. Whatever you do out of kindness, compassion, service, love, it will never be fully accepted and the times that the grudge becomes explosive, what you have worked so hard to do, it is completely rejected and thrown back in your face. It is time to stop trying to fix it and put it in God’s Hands. God is able, God is capable and God is ready and willing to finish what He started in you and in the begrudger. Let be, be still, watch, wait and see. Here He Stands.
From Your Head To Your Heart
The greatest revelation that can ever go from your head to your heart is this one: The enemy can’t bully you with a grudge holder if your heart is guarded and your identity is fully in Christ. The explosive begrudging, it bounces off your shield of faith. Faith is believing in what you don’t see yet, believing when you ask, God is at work in the unseen and God will finish what He starts. Faith is fulfilled in your actions as you believe in God, and you believe God. Faith activated by the discernment, revelation and wisdom of God and obedience to these pretenses, is powerful faith, and nothing can disrupt it, not even a grudge explosion. This is where you want to be positioned, in a vital-vertical relationship with God that is unbreakable, unshakeable by grudge explosions. The foundation of your heart to heart relationship with God, is built on identity. Where is your identity? Is your identity wholly-holy in Christ? Do you have an identity so solid in Christ, that you know Who He says you are and you believe it? With your identity in Christ, no fake reality and false narrative of a grudge can change that. Live out of your relationship with God, make it personal and realize to the highest fulfillment your identity as His child. There is no bullying begrudging spirit that can interrupt, disrupt or deny your vital-vertical relationship with Jesus, it is unbreakable and there is no love greater or more permanent than His Infinite Love you are bound to.
2 Corinthians 5:4-7 So, while living in this “tent,” we groan under its burden, not because we want to die but because we want these new bodies. We crave for all that is mortal to be swallowed up by eternal life. And this is no empty hope, for God himself is the one who has prepared us for this wonderful destiny. And to confirm this promise, he has given us the Holy Spirit, like an engagement ring, as a guarantee. That’s why we’re always full of courage. Even while we’re at home in the body, we’re homesick to be with the Master— 7 for we live by faith, not by what we see with our eyes. The Passion Translation
See Out Of The Eyes Of Your Spirit
A begrudging explosion will not even affect your soul when you are guarding your heart with God’s Word and believing wholeheartedly in Him. You can be free of the bullying of another person’s grudge, when you stop pleasing people and do whatever you are doing out of followship of God and unto Him. No more dread, no more mind distraction, no more soul bullying, just sweet trust, belief, faith, hope, and God blessing. Now this is an exchange I am definitely going to make. I don’t have to bear the yoke of willfully pressing forward to please people, when I can lovingly please God, this is an easy yoke, one that is delightful, fruitful and goes forward and out with joy explosion, a repercussion of Kingdom Glory and blessing.
Isaiah 55:10-13 As the rain and snow come down from heaven and stay upon the ground to water the earth, and cause the grain to grow and to produce seed for the farmer and bread for the hungry, 11 so also is my word. I send it out, and it always produces fruit. It shall accomplish all I want it to and prosper everywhere I send it. 12 You will live in joy and peace. The mountains and hills, the trees of the field—all the world around you—will rejoice. 13 Where once were thorns, fir trees will grow; where briars grew, the myrtle trees will sprout up. This miracle will make the Lord’s name very great and be an everlasting sign of God’s power and love. The Living Bible ‘
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